Title: Guns and Gretta

By Annie Ifinedo

With a blank face, Gretta pressed the gun to Abby’s forehead that sweltering afternoon.

In contrast, Abby’s eyes widened momentarily before narrowing sharply. “You beast. Why can’t you put the past behind you?”

Gretta had paid for the gun earlier that day. Her thoughts circled the sinister plans she had for her sister as she journeyed to the street where Abby lived.

Right from the womb, Abby had been her father’s blue-eyed boy (as the saying goes). Her birth made Gretta a neglected child. Either she played with Abby’s luxuriant locks, resisting the urge to tug, or she played by herself, her friends smitten with the neonate.

Gretta at seventeen was a fine dark lady. If only she wasn’t coloured in more than one way. She’d knocked on the door, her nose scrunching like it always did when she plotted something childish. Swallowing a laugh took quite an effort on seeing Abby.

Gretta matched her frosty tone. “If you think I’d ever forget when you doused me in cold water with that huge toy gun, you’re joking. Consider this payback time.” 

Abby turned to run, but Gretta seized her. Her teeth flashing, she pulled the trigger.

21 replies
  1. anita ogueri
    anita ogueri says:

    Interesting twist you’ve got there. At first I thought she was killing her for real, until she brought out the toy gun.

    Reply
  2. Bassey Okorafor
    Bassey Okorafor says:

    Good job. The title and first paragraph aroused my curiosity to read further.
    In between the short note created the required suspense for me to continue reading.
    Just that the end was too close after the high suspense was created.
    Since it has the major characteristics as highlighted, for me it’s a great one.
    Looking forward to seeing more editions.

    Reply
  3. Klaus
    Klaus says:

    It’s a short piece but funny
    It’s well structured
    But I don’t really like the part about the second child becoming a second class citizen after the birth of the other
    I feel you could have put something a bit lighter considering the overall tone of the piece
    In all great work
    I am rooting for you

    Reply

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