Title: Guns and Gretta
By Annie Ifinedo
With a blank face, Gretta pressed the gun to Abby’s forehead that sweltering afternoon.
In contrast, Abby’s eyes widened momentarily before narrowing sharply. “You beast. Why can’t you put the past behind you?”
Gretta had paid for the gun earlier that day. Her thoughts circled the sinister plans she had for her sister as she journeyed to the street where Abby lived.
Right from the womb, Abby had been her father’s blue-eyed boy (as the saying goes). Her birth made Gretta a neglected child. Either she played with Abby’s luxuriant locks, resisting the urge to tug, or she played by herself, her friends smitten with the neonate.
Gretta at seventeen was a fine dark lady. If only she wasn’t coloured in more than one way. She’d knocked on the door, her nose scrunching like it always did when she plotted something childish. Swallowing a laugh took quite an effort on seeing Abby.
Gretta matched her frosty tone. “If you think I’d ever forget when you doused me in cold water with that huge toy gun, you’re joking. Consider this payback time.”
Abby turned to run, but Gretta seized her. Her teeth flashing, she pulled the trigger.
Interesting twist you’ve got there. At first I thought she was killing her for real, until she brought out the toy gun.
Thanks dear. I’m so glad that was understood
Good work dear
Nice work dear, I love it, Keep it up.
Good job. The title and first paragraph aroused my curiosity to read further.
In between the short note created the required suspense for me to continue reading.
Just that the end was too close after the high suspense was created.
Since it has the major characteristics as highlighted, for me it’s a great one.
Looking forward to seeing more editions.
Thank you! I had a bit of a struggle with my resolution, so bear with me;)
Short story with great insight
More Grace girl
Nice. Job dear. Keep it up
Nice work dear, keep it up
Thank you!
Awesome!!!!
Nice work girl, keep the high spirit high..
Great read. Keep it up girl .
It’s amazing that a young heart could conceptualize this story. Well done.
Rooting for u, I love ur work
Thank you so much for everything!
Thank you!!
It’s a short piece but funny
It’s well structured
But I don’t really like the part about the second child becoming a second class citizen after the birth of the other
I feel you could have put something a bit lighter considering the overall tone of the piece
In all great work
I am rooting for you
Thank you so much. I actually struggled between keeping my suspense and my lighthearted note at the end. But I’m glad it turned out okay.
What an interesting twist 👏👏
Thanks Daria. I tried making my story fun, knowing that many stories here will be sad.