So this guy unscrewed my heart again

And all the nuts in my sense clattered to the floor

I was angry at myself for falling prey, again

So I reported him to God, and I prayed

I prayed rosy mornings and sated nights

I prayed for him more shiny Getzner

I prayed he wouldn’t have to eat Kuka every breakfast 

I prayed beans will stop messing with his stomach 

So that he could finally eat moi-moi without offending the air

I prayed his laundry man will stop burning his Kaftan trousers

And his boss will stop making him handle the photocopier 

I prayed against ants biting his tender skin 

Because it was a really pitiful sight when he’ll itch

I prayed all the good for him

Not because I’ll forget and forgive 

But because the last time he did me bad 

I prayed on him everything bad

And the exact opposite happened to him.

I make the tea

Brewed slowly

 With a pinch of rage

A spoon of negativity

 And a cube of toxic people.


I stir the tea

Mixed solemnly

By a pensive hand

And some sobriety

 And watch as the people

Dance to their tune

A bland unmelodious rhythm.


And when they are at ease

And they think I’m at peace

I pick the cup

Raise it gently to my lips

I can hear them chuckle in victory

They will intoxicate my life

Again with rotten things

 Then I let go of the cup

Watch them spill and ruin the ground

The people, the bad and the toxicities.


                                    I
  You were far more interesting as a mystery The perfect profile with a fine faceOn your adventurous timelineYou had sensible picturesAnd captions that said you were nice


                              II
You were far more fun in my imagination Witty linesAnd cheesy repliesYour eyes in that picture Suggests so much humour Our conversations were so funny in my mind.


                         III
You were far more reasonable by my thoughtsSensitive to the feeling of othersSober when seriousSensible when soberYour views were very matureBecause in that picture You had on a turtle neck sweatshirt And some nerdy glasses.

                              IV
You were far more intelligent in my spurnsYou effortlessly brush through art, music and sportsYour views are philosophyYou cherish historyAnd are always hungry to learn more.

                           V
You were far too sacred in my thoughts Then I made the biggest mistake, your fallI ruined our unrelationshipBy sneaking in your direct messagesAnd discovering that you were just another flop.

I

Is it yours?

When it can be taken away 

As swiftly as you came

With no notice,

This time, with no prior notice.


Is it yours?

When the only thing 

Between you and the grave

Is one last breathe

And you have no control


Is it yours? 

When you feel you have a grasp

But it spurns out of control

And all you can do is watch

Pray, it will stop


Is it yours?

Because when it’s the end

And the Angels come

You can’t tell them to wait or stop

They just take it away and it’s forever gone

This life you live the way you wish

As if created on your whim

You say it’s yout life

But it can end anytime

And you are just an audience

To the life you lived

You wish it will rewind

You have changes to make

But its a lot too late

Your deeds will pay

So again I ask

That life you slaved for

And the end of the day

If you can’t decide its fate

Is it yours?

My heart is throwing tantrums today

Telling me to make it stop

Make her stop feeling the varying dark emotions

Which cease her at random moments

Like many different cards slotted in the same money machine.

 

 

My heart is sulking today

She said I didn’t swipe away

From the photos of dead bodies that lay

Strewn everywhere on the streets of Israel.

 

My heart has gotten herself a pair of muffs 

To shut her ears to all the stories told

About pain and struggle and torment children face 

My heart looked at my lifestyle and said ‘theirs is no way to live’

What my heart fails to get is that it touches me too

It shakes my soul the stinks of this world too

But I can barely do anything to alleviate it

And that makes my heart agitated.  

She said she can’t believe I can be so heartless.

 

 

Today my heart is shedding uncontrollable tears

A small girl, barely an infant tore her life to an end

A baby who can not say Mama has been raped 

A man was told it isn’t his place to feel any pain

And try as I may

To calm her down

Tell her that I just can not scream for them stop

My heart has a mind of her own

So she cries some more

And I wonder

Who is a bigger coward

I, who’d watch sorrow play

And do nothing thinking I can’t stop it

Or my heart,  who’d shut her ears 

To the cries of the world

Believing she can do nothing to make it stop.

I
It came wrapped in ribbons
Bright red ribbons and cheap glossy paper wraps
The first time it came
My mom beat me up blue
She said you are only in primary 5
What do you know about love
I still hate that boy till today
His unsolicited attention caused me pain
I remember it was on a valentines day.
II
It came wrapped in spiky ribbons
This time it had a face
And a very beautiful face I must say
It placed itself in my way all day
Till I took notice of it and called it bae
And bae made sure he left my heart a wreck
III
It came wrapped in a brown sheet
With a tie hanging from it’s square neck
And it had a voice of authority
Which affected me like a placebo
It was time, they said
To accept the gift that came
But they didn’t know I had already accepted me.
IV
We are to ourselves, gifts
Others, a bonus
Large bonuses
Negative bonuses
Beautiful bonuses
Life-changing bonuses
But first, you are the gift
And without them, you still exist
But with them, life has a much deeper meaning
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