There are some people that are inherently, extremely self-involved and self-centered. To then, they are holistically the center of the world. They are vain, they think the world of themselves, they are manipulative and they are unable to understand the feelings of others and their worse enemies are criticism and knowing you can see right through them.

But beneath all that facade, they are trying to hide a crumbled self-esteem and self-doubt.

They are narcissists and from experience I am telling you that they are capable of messing you up really, really bad.


  • Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance
  • Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration (worship the ground they walk on)
  • Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
  • Exaggerate achievements and talents
  • Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate
  • Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people
  • Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior
  • Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations
  • Take advantage of others to get what they want
  • Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
  • Be envious of others and believe others envy them
  • Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious
  • Insist on having the best of everything 


They have trouble in handling anything they perceive as criticism, and they can:

  • Become impatient or angry when they don’t receive special treatment
  • Have significant interpersonal problems and easily feel slighted
  • React with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make themselves appear superior
  • Have difficulty regulating emotions and behavior
  • Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change
  • Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection
  • Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability and humiliation


The causes of personality disorders aren’t fully known, but narcissistic tendencies typically emerge as a type of self-protection.

Many people with narcissism had a narcissistic parent or experienced some type of abuse or neglect early in life. The negative messages and criticism they absorb become their internal voice.

To defend against this negative voice, they develop maladaptive coping strategies, or narcissistic defenses. Their treatment of others typically reflects how they feel about themselves. 

Narcissistic personality disorder may be linked to:

  • Environment or upbringing; extreme adoration from parents or neglect.
  • Genetics ― inherited characteristics
  • Neurobiology — the connection between the brain and behavior and thinking


People with narcissistic personality disorder are not likely to perceive anything wrong with them as they are an embodiment of ‘perfection’. Therefore they are unlikely to seek treatment.

Treatment for narcissistic personality disorder centers around talk therapy (psychotherapy) though they are unlikely to change.


What is a relationship with a narcissist like? Torturous at best. But before they show their true colours, they are the nicest, most accommodating people.

Here are signs you may be in a relationship (work, intimate or otherwise)

with a narcissist:

-‘Enough about me. How do YOU feel about ME’. It is always about them, even if it is about you.

-They isolate you: methodically. They bad-mouth their partners and create unnecessary arguments questioning why everything about you.

-They are masters of gaslight: Why can’t you take a joke?  I never said that! Why are you always so angry? You’re being paranoid. You are being to sensitive.

Why can’t you let go of the past? No one will ever love you like I do.

-They change from sweethearts to strangers: Before you are comfortable with them in a work relationship or you get married, they will heap flattery and praise on you. They have a goal. The moment they get you however the tables turn and you are never enough.

The switch from the charming person you fell so hard for, to someone you feel like you barely know.

That is why they may look like saints before others and monsters before. 

-They are masters of gaslight: Why can’t you take a joke? I never said that! Why are you always so angry? You’re being paranoid. You are being to sensitive.

Why can’t you let go of the past? No one will ever love you like I do.

It Feels Like Your Partner Is Trying To Make You Jealous

Beyond praising others, a narcissist may talk glowingly about an ex or flirt with someone right in front of you. This is no accident or innocent misstep, but a strategic move designed to make you feel jealous.

-They may get jealous of you or your success or the time you assign to other things instead of them.

-They admit that they are narcissistic. And to them, that makes them the most superior beings.

-Always looping you in for a fight. It’s a bait, you fight, they gaslight and make you feel stupid, silly, small and insecure.

-They avoid responsibility 

-Very manipulative.

The reality is that narcissists are very resistant to change therefore unless they are willing to change by taking up therapy (you should encourage them), you can neither change them nor make them happy. You can only save yourself.


Complications of narcissistic personality disorder, and other conditions that can occur along with it, can include:

  • Relationship difficulties
  • Problems at work or school
  • Depression and anxiety
  • Physical health problems
  • Drug or alcohol misuse
  • Suicidal thoughts or behavior

Sources: The Mayo Clinic

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